Grieving with hope – Blog Post 9

This post is dedicated to the memory of my sweet wife Pam who, as most of you know passed from this life into eternity on August 21.  She is forever in the presence of our Savior.  She has a glorified new body that will last forever. That being the case we take great comfort in these words from Paul as he wrote to the believers in Thessalonica:

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same way, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.

1 Thessalonians 4:13,14

Reflecting on this passage recently, I am confident that the Holy Spirit brought this question to mind:  Where have you seen God’s goodness over the recent past?  The first three things that immediately came to mind were:

• His provision for the care that Pam received since last November when her hip was broken.

• How He faithfully continued to walk with us moment-by-moment over these last few years as Pam battled an incurable disease, and as we came to grips with my cancer.

• His faithfulness in bringing our family, our church family and many friends alongside us to pray for us, encourage us and support us.

I well remember the conversation we had with Pam’s neurologist when, after months of tests, he met with us to discuss her diagnosis of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP).  It was during that discussion that he informed us that there is no known cure for the disease and treatment options focus on treating the symptoms.  From early onset of PSP, life expectancy is normally eight to ten years.  Pam was already at the midpoint of life expectancy when she was diagnosed.

Needless to say we were shocked and dismayed to hear this diagnosis.  At the same time we were reminded that this life, as our Lord told us, has its share of trials and tribulations.  Most importantly we were also reminded that regardless of those trials and tribulations our God is with us every step of the way. 

In recent days I have been in the process of going through and organizing Pam’s books, crafts and other things.  She was definitely a faithful student of the Bible and I often find notes that she wrote with verses of Scripture and a short prayer or thought the Lord gave her.  One such note I came across had this verse:

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!                                                                                                                Psalm 27:14

Attached to the note was this prayer:  O God, help me to trust You even when I cannot trace You.  As I read that simple prayer, I recalled conversations that we had following her diagnosis in 2018, and then my cancer diagnosis in 2022.  On both occasions we knew that in and of ourselves we could not ‘fix’ her PSP or my cancer.  But we were also confident in the One who could and ultimately would make everything right.

It was already settled for us that no matter what we encountered on this journey, we would do our best to trust the Lord, waiting on Him to fix things according to His will and purpose.  He remains ever faithful, providing strength and comfort in the midst of dealing with sickness, suffering, and now sorrow.

The Lord definitely fixed Pam’s struggles when she passed from this life into His presence on August 21.  She is now completely healed, with a new body that will never be touched by this broken world.  Never again will she experience the pain and suffering she endured over the past few years.  We can and should rejoice that she was met with a “Well done, good and faithful servant…” when she stepped into heaven on August 21.

Even as we rejoice that Pam is no longer suffering, there are moments every day when I feel an overwhelming sense of loss in her absence.  The grief is very real; it is heavy and it is disruptive and stressful.  Merriam-Webster defines grief as deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement.  Based on personal experience, I can attest that’s a reasonable definition. 

Since last November when her hip was broken and she was subsequently moved to Kerr Lake Nursing and Rehab there have been countless times when sitting here at the house, I have wanted to ask her a question or share something with her, only to realize she was not here.

As believers, we know our God has shown us great mercy and grace by sending His Son to take the burden of our sin in exchange for an eternal relationship with Him.  We also know that Scripture makes it clear that we will experience grief and sorrow in this life.  Further, the Scriptures also make it clear that life in this world is not the end and, as believers, when we pass from this life to the next we will immediately be in His presence.

Because we are informed as believers, we can have hope even as we grieve.  God’s grace and mercy are unfathomable. In our deepest sorrows, we can, we should, we must hold on to this hope that even death cannot extinguish:

Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die this Scripture will be fulfilled:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.  O death, where is your victory?  O death, where is your sting?”   For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.                                             1 Corinthians 15:54-57

I recently completed a five-day Bible study entitled Hopeful Grief, written by Pastor Richard Caldwell, who pastors Founders Baptist Church in Spring, Texas.  On day one of the study Pastor Caldwell closed with the following which I believe is worth sharing:

Let’s embrace the concept of hopeful grief. Let it not only be a source of personal solace but also an invitation to offer comfort to others. In our shared moments of loss and pain, let us encourage one another with the transformative power of hope found in Christ. For in this hope, we find the strength to persevere, the courage to face tomorrow, and the assurance that our current trials are but a precursor to eternal joy and peace in the presence of our Lord. 

While I grieve in the present, it is with hope, so I will continue to trust in the Lord’s plan going forward.  I close with this passage from the psalmist:

For the word of the Lord is right, and all his work is trustworthy. He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the Lord’s unfailing love. Psalm 33:4,5