Cancer Blog Post 5

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

so why should I be afraid?

The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,

so why should I tremble?

Hear me as I pray, O Lord

Be merciful and answer me!

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me. And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

Do not turn your back on me.

Do not reject your servant in anger

You have always been my helper.

Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me

O God of my salvation!

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Psalm 27:1, 7-9, 14

The news was not what we had hoped for. A questionable CT-Scan led to the decision to have a PET-Scan. The PET-Scan confirmed my doctor’s suspicion that the cancer had spread to my lungs and to the lymph nodes behind the abdomen, near my kidneys.

The diagnosis: Stage IV Metastatic cancer. Then these words from my doctor, “The cancer is treatable but not curable. You will require chemo treatments for the rest of your life.”

Thus begins a new phase in this cancer journey. Chemo treatments will be on a 28 day cycle, with three consecutive weeks of treatments followed by one week off, after which the next cycle will begin. Treatments started on July 12 and are currently scheduled through July, 2024.

Additionally, this week I had a follow up with my urologist regarding the bladder cancer. Following six weeks of treatments, a cystoscopy revealed yet another tumor in my bladder which will require a surgical procedure to remove and potentially additional treatments will be necessary.

Honestly, these past four weeks have been a test of faith for me. I was expecting my oncologist to give me the “all clear” on the pancreatic cancer and my urologist to do the same for the bladder cancer. Of course, that was according to my plan, rather than the Lord’s plan.

As I reflected on that, I recalled the above passages from Psalm 27. When it comes to adversity, be it cancer or some other challenging circumstance that directly affects our health and wellbeing, we can exhaust all the strength we have. This includes physical, emotional and spiritual strength. When we feel “the weight of the world” on our shoulders we can do as David did – we can look to the Lord. He is our Light in the midst of the darkness. He is our Fortress – the One who protects us from danger.

David also reminds us in verses 7-9 that as a child of God we have an open line of communication with our Heavenly Father. He is our merciful God and is ever faithful in responding to our pleas for help. He invites us to come and talk with Him and He will never turn His back on His children. The God of our salvation is faithful to His promise to never leave us or forsake us.

David closes Psalm 27 with a reminder that as we go to our God in prayer, trusting that He will ultimately provide an answer, we must remind ourselves that His answer is not often immediate. This is counter to the culture we live in, that seems to demand instant answers to life’s problems. Even as believers we are tempted to want those quick answers, failing to wait on the One who always has the answers we need and His answers are far better than anything we could imagine.

As this journey continues, I am encouraged by the prayers of the saints and the cards, letters and emails that I often receive. One such card included a reminder that while this cancer can do much damage to my physical body, it is limited:

It cannot cripple Love.

It cannot shatter Hope.

It cannot corrode Faith.

It cannot destroy Peace.

It cannot kill Friendship.

It cannot suppress Memories.

It cannot silence Courage.

It cannot invade the Soul.

It cannot steal Eternal Life.

It cannot conquer the Spirit

-Author Unknown

Some would say that I’m naïve; that my faith is misplaced because I believe that the Lord can take these cancers away in an instant. But that is exactly what I’m praying for – that He will heal the cancers in accordance with His will and purpose for my life. And if it’s not His will to take away the cancers, then I can only assume that He must have an even better plan for me.

As we face the challenges of this life, Paul encourages us to look not unto ourselves or to what the world offers. Instead we are to look up to Jesus, the One who sits in the presence of God the Father. He is the One who is ever faithful and has the best plan to meet whatever challenge we might be facing, always remembering that, as believers, our lives are secure and our future is bright as we are held by the Lord:

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3